Life just goes way to fast....

It’s been a while since I last blogged.  I always feel like I have to have that perfect subject in order to write and even though only a handful of people read my blog, I still don’t write.  Well, I am going to change that.  I am going to start writing about whatever is on my mind, the events of the day or what I am (or am not) feeling. I will write about my dreams, my realities, my hopes and ambitions, my let downs and anything and everything in between.  I will probably write a lot about my husband and son because they are the 2 most important things on this earth to me, so consider yourself forewarned!! 

It’s been a crazy few months in the Halcomb household; we sold our house in February and moved in with my mom and step dad.  They are technically there on the weekends only, but lately, with unexpected life events, they have needed to be in Lexington a little more.  Needless to say, our home is filled with laughter, tears, yelling, talking, cooking, cleaning, and so much more.  With 4 headstrong adults and a 3 year old, life is never boring.  Our most recent adventure has been potty training Quinn.  I have to admit, he has been a champ.  It all started one day when his diaper was wet and it leaked out on my furniture.  I didn’t get mad at him but I was done!!  I threatened to put plastic/rubber training pants on him over his “big boy” underwear, he cried.  He pleaded to not put on the plastic pants and promised he wouldn’t have an accident in his big boy pants.  Well, he never has from that day, not even at night.  I am so proud of him.  I have never wanted to wish any phase of Quinn’s life away, I have treasured every little thing, but I really, really, really wanted to get rid of diapers.  I realize now just how quick they grow up, and I can honestly say that now that diapers are gone, I miss them…ok, not really!!    I miss my baby that wore them, but I really don’t miss the diapers!!  LOL 



My beautiful (Great)Grandmother, Katherine Baber

I will close with this, last Thursday we lost a true matriarch to our family.  My Great Grandmother, Katherine Baber, passed away suddenly Thursday morning, June 20, 2013 at the age of 97.  While many will say that she lived a long life and we were lucky to have her for so many years, I will say that no matter how old one may be when they leave this life, they take a piece of you with them.  She was a rock, she was strong, she was beautiful and she loved God.  Her house was always perfect and she would have never left her home without her hair done and her make up on.  She could climb a peach tree in a dress and tennis shoes and come down looking like she just stepped out of a beauty shop.  She cooked, she cleaned, she canned, she sewed and most importantly she read her bible daily.  She was proud; proud of her husband (whom we lost too early as well in the 90’s), her daughters, her grandchildren, great grandchildren and great-great grandchildren. She had a lot of pain in her 97 years.  She lost all her siblings (she was 1 of 11 I believe), she lost her parents, her husband, 2 of her children and too many family and friends to count.  Yet, she never lost her composure, she never felt sorry for herself.  She focused on all the happy days that she had in her long life.  She never gave up on anyone.  She loved unconditionally.  She inspired all that met her. My Granny told a story at the funeral home Sunday evening, that grandmother (that’s what we all called her), wanted a closed casket because she had so many wrinkles.  Her daughters were not fond of that idea and she agreed to have the casket open.  She looked beautiful.  She was still as beautiful in her final sleep as she was so many years ago.  I am so blessed to have had this amazing woman in my life.  She passed on so much wisdom and grace to my Granny who passed it to my mom who I hope has passed enough on to me and my sister that we can carry on this beautiful woman’s legacy.  I will strive to be more like her every day and will remember her always.   

 1 Timothy 5:10 - Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints' feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work.

7 years of Rain and Sunshine

Tomorrow James and I will celebrate our 7 year wedding anniversary. We had an amazing 3 day weekend in Nashville, Tn where we saw some shows, ate some amazing food and more importantly, spent some much needed quality couple time (something we haven't had in the past 3 years).  It was great, but driving home we hit a monsoon of rain.  That kind of rain that makes you drop about 20mph less than the speed limit.  That kind of rain that if a semi goes by, you are pretty sure you could surf or drown off the wake he splashes up with his huge tires.  The kind of rain you start to think, maybe I should just stop and ride this one out.  

It was horrible, but it made me think of the past 8 1/2 years James and I have had together.  It made me think of all the tears we have shed, both joyful and sad, and the tears that were sure to come. I started thinking about all that we had been through, and the tears of pain and a sadness we h ad shed.  We cried with the loss of James parents, both of whom passed within 6 months of each. Both who passed way to soon and way to young.  We cried for the failed multiple fertility treatments and when the doctor said there was no hope.  We cried after we lost our jobs and the after the loss of our beloved 4 legged babies.   We have cried for and with family and friends who have lost loved ones, unborn children and pets. We have cried for those that we did not know, the children lost in a senseless shooting and those lost in a bombing of why I still ask why?  There have been a lot of tears and sadness and pain. 

But we have also had many joyful days, thankfully more than the sad ones.  We have been blessed with food on our table, a roof over our head and shoes on our feet.  We have amazing family and friends.  We have shed tears over their support, their commitment to us, their love for us.  We are truly blessed.   We have shed tears as we celebrated college graduations, weddings, new careers, new beginnings.  We cried over the prayer that was answered when we became parents to a precious baby boy.  There have been many days of happiness and joy.

We have shed enough tears, it seems, to create a monsoon, like the one we drove through today.  And just like this rain, the events over the past 8 1/2 years have caused us to slow down many times, sometimes way below the normal speed limit. And like the big waves caused by bigger trucks, we have felt like we were drowning by the punches that society/this economy brought our way, but we kept our head above the water at all times.  And just like the thought I had today of stopping--quitting--taking a break, we too have had those moments in our 8 1/2 years together.  Moments of stopping, just quitting, because the rain was so hard we could not see the other side of it.  The clouds seemed as thought they would never be bright again. 

Fortunately, just like today, we/I was wrong. Today James continued to look at the live radar and he kept encouraging me that the rain was going to end.  He said, just go slow, there is sunshine on the other side of this, I promise.  I smiled and I just said, I trust you, you better be right.  And I drove.  And you know what, he was right.  We stayed on course, we dodged the big waves and we didn't stop.  And all of a sudden, the skies cleared, the rain went away and the sun began to shine.  

Thank you James Henry Halcomb, for always being there with and for me, through the rain and the sunshine. I am forever grateful that God chose me to be your wife.  I look forward to what this world has to bring our way the next 7 years and the next 7 years after that and the next.......

My favorite part of our vows to one another is when we repeated the following: 

 “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. ¹⁷ Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.” Ruth 1: 16,17

I love you!!!

Emotions of Mothers Day

As Mother's Day quickly approaches it brings a multitude of emotions to me. I never really gave this day much thought as a young child or even in my 20's and early 30's.  To me it meant going to church on Sunday with my mom ( much like I did every Sunday), buying her a small gift and eating in Nicholasville at the blue building with the rest of my family. But as I got older this day took on a different meaning.  I started to dread this day every year more than any other day because it became a day that constantly reminded me of my infertility and the child I would never have.  I started dreading church this day because as a tradition, the men of the church honored mothers with flowers.  I didn't get one, well, they started giving me one eventually for the mother I "might" become one day.  I hated it!  But I smiled and tried to let the selfish emotions go, but it was difficult. Every store had flowers, cards and tv was consumed with tear jerker commercials that just added to my pain. Then even more guilty feelings would stir up because I knew that I should be celebrating my mom and not focusing on me and what may never come. But it was hard. 

Then comes the guilt of celebrating with my mom, my grandmother, my great-grandmother and knowing that the majority of my friends including my husband, were not getting nor will they ever have that opportunity.  While I was celebrating with my mom, they would be placing flowers at a stone where their mothers now lie.  I would feel guilty for celebrating my with mom, when they could not.  It then became a day that I wanted to secretly celebrate as to not hurt others feelings. I would avoid asking them what they did over the weekend or informing of what I had done. Mothers Day continued to be a hard day.

So we fast forward to today, this weekend, tomorrow- Mothers Day. It is still a very emotional day to me.  My life was forever changed 3 1/2 years ago when a young women made the decision to let James and I raise and love and call her child our own. She gave me the opportunity to be called mom and I will forever be grateful. And for me, this child is all the gift I need on Mother's Day.  As for my friends, family and especially my husband, I struggle on this day for you.  I have tried to envision my life with out my mother and its impossible to do.  I can call her, I can touch her, I can hold her.  I know how precious having a mom is and it is something I don't take for granted.  

So for those who are blessed to have their mothers on this earth to celebrate tomorrow, do that.  Celebrate them. Celebrate their love, their kindness, their commitment to you and to their family.  Call your mother, visit your mother, write her a letter.  Don't let this day go by without acknowledging that she is your mother.  For those whose mothers have gone on to a different life, I pray that you find peace with this day.  May you remember your mom on this day and celebrate her life in a way that brings you comfort and joy.  And for those that are not mothers and may be struggling with infertility, I know your pain.  This is one of the toughest days you will deal with, but know that your day will come.  It may be as a sister, an aunt, a godmother--or I pray as a mother.  But you will be celebrated for the woman you are and the love and kindness that you have in your heart. I wish I had of had more faith for so many years so that I could have enjoyed this day more and cried less.   

To all the women in my life, my mother, my mother-in-law, my sisters, my aunts, my stepmom, my friends--I celebrate you.  I love each and every one of you and am forever changed as a daughter, sister, wife and a mother because of what you each have brought and continue to bring into my life.  HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!!

Who can find a virtuous woman? She is far more precious than jewels... 
Strength and honor are her clothing, and she can laugh at the time to come. 
She opens her mouth with wisdom, and loving instruction is on her tongue. 
She watches over the activities of her household and is never idle. 
Her sons rise up and call her blessed. 
He husband also praises her: 
Many women are capable, but you surpass them all! 
Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised. 
~Proverbs 31:10, 25-30

If You don't have anything nice to say...Pray!!

Seems like the older I get the more sensitive I am and I get my feelings hurt so easy. In the past few weeks I have allowed others to "hurt" my feelings--professionally and personally. I do not like confrontation, so I tend to vent, to the less than a handful of people I trust to keep my venting to themselves, and move on. But there are days where I just want to scream and give someone a piece of my mind. I am reminded of that old saying "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". So I am learning to say as little as possible to those that hurt me, I pray to let the hurt go and then try move on. But I am human, and it is hard to forgive and forget. So I will continue to try and focus on what I am thankful for. I will not allow these sad, lonely, angry people to take away my peace, happiness and joy that I have in my life. I know I have hurt others feelings, never intentionally, because that's not who I am. I am sorry for those that I have hurt in the past. I try daily to bring joy and happiness to all those I come in contact with. I do not throw people under a bus ( I prefer to drive and take you along), and I can keep secrets. So I ask or prayer as I too pray to forgive those that are angry and hurt those around them.



" Then Peter came up to Him and said, Lord, how many times may my brother sin against me and I forgive him and let it go? [As many as] up to seven times? Jesus answered him, I tell you, not up to seven times, but seventy times seven! "~Matthew 18: 21-22

So I will forgive, I will continue to love my enemy and I will continue to give thanks to my God for loving me and my imperfections.

Sisyphean-The impossible task

While listening to the sermon today the minister referenced a Greek king that had been punished to an eternity of pushing a boulder up a hill and as he would near the top the boulder would roll back to the ground where he would have to start all over again.  Homer describes him as thus:

And I saw Sisyphus at his endless task raising his prodigious stone with both his hands. With hands and feet he tried to roll it up to the top of the hill, but always, just before he could roll it over on to the other side, its weight would be too much for him, and the pitiless stone would come thundering down again on to the plain

This got me thinking about life and all the difficult times that it seemed like all I was doing was rolling a boulder up a hill to just have it roll back down.  This boulder, my relationships, my friendships, my faith, my addictions, my insecurity, my infertility, my absent father, death, life, and everything in-between.  For too many years I felt like Sisyphus and that I was trying to do the impossible task.  Fighting the impossible battles--depression, anxiety, death.  This boulder had consumed my life and had robbed me from my happiness that God had laid out for me. 

Then one day I quit.  I quit pushing the boulder. I started praying and listening and I realized that with God, I did not need to push anything up a hill.  Psalm 18:2 says “The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.”  God was my rock, my salvation, the answer to uphill climb. 

When I turn my worries and my struggles over to God, I become strong.  I know that through him all things are possible and with faith I can move the mountain, the impossible task becomes possible.  Mathew 17:20 He replied, "Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."  So if you’re struggling, if you feel like your pushing a boulder up a mountain just to have it fall back down again, Stop pushing, start praying and have faith. Nothing is impossible with Christ. I know this because he says it!! 

Mathew 19:26 “Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

Birthday Bounty!!

As you should know by now, I am all about bargains and love them when they are free. A great time to get some free loot is during your birthday. This week I started celebrating my 42nd birthday (which is actually next week, but it's never to early to start celebrating). I have been taking advantage of free things that local vendors give you during your birth month. I have listed below a few things that you can get as well as the links to their pages. There are many more out their and if you know of one, please feel free to share with us all. I hope you sign up for your freebies and happy birthday from me!!


Movie Tavern: free popcorn for signing up and if you go to one movie in a year they send you a ticket during your birth month for a free movie ticket. We used this Tuesday and saw GI Joe.
http://movietavern.us5.listmanage.com/subscribeu=4426e04ed04f4c8e3dba9c840&id=fcc87ac748

B.D. Mongolian Grill: Free dinner or lunch. Right now kids eat free on Tuesdays and for $2 on Wednesdays. http://www.gomongo.com/club-mongo/


Frisch's: Free hot fudge cake. Dine in only but no purchase required. http://www.frischs.com/

My favorite!! Starbucks: a free drink of your choice during your birthday. You have to create n account and register a gift card. I use my card on my smartphone--I can pull up my balance, load money and pay with my phone. I love technology!!! https://www.starbucks.com/account/create/register?src=home


Here are a few more for your birthday enjoyment.....remember, it's a great idea to create a separate email address for the freebies. :-)


Restaurants

Applebee’s: Sign up for Applebee’s news for information on special events and new menu items, and receive a free dessert on your birthday.

Bob Evans: The birthday club for kids offers a free kid’s meal. You also can sign up for BEmail, which offers deals. I just received a buy-one-get-one-free breakfast coupon.

Buffalo Wild Wings: Sign up for email updates and other news items, and receive a free piece of chocolate cake on your birthday.

Burger King: Sign up your child with Club BK to receive a free kid’s meal on his or her birthday.

Captain D’s: The kid’s birthday club offers a free birthday kid’s meal. Sign up for the D’s Club and receive free desserts for a month.

Carino’s Italian: The E-Club offers specials, promotions and news via email.

Carrabba’s: Join its Amici Club and receive offers for complimentary menu items, invitations to special events and much more.

Chili’s: Join Chili’s Email Club and receive offers a few times a month plus a free order of skillet queso and chips for signing up.

Ryan’s: Join the eCLUB and get a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a buffet meal, and receive a coupon on your birthday.

Denny’s: Its rewards program offers a free Grand Slam breakfast on your birthday.

Firehouse Subs: Bring in a valid ID on your birthday for a free medium sub.

IHOP: Join Pancake Revolution and receive offers including a free meal when you sign up, on your birthday and on the first anniversary of the day you joined.

Treats

Baskin-Robbins: Join the birthday club and receive an email coupon five days before your birthday for a free ice cream.

Cold Stone Creamery: Join the birthday club and get a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for an ice cream creation on your birthday.

Culver’s: Join the eClub and receive coupons and a special offer on your birthday.

Dairy Queen: Join the Blizzard Fan Club and get a Blizzard treat coupon.

Dunkin’ Donuts: Perks Rewards offers a free medium beverage for signing up and a free medium beverage on your birthday.

Great American Cookies: Get a birthday surprise when you join CookiE-mail.

For the kids

The Children’s Place: The birthday club offers a coupon on your birthday and on your child’s birthday.

Chuck E. Cheese’s: Sign up for coupons, free tokens for your kid’s birthday and other rewards.

Others

Aveda: The birthday program offers a free gift worth as much as $24 on your birthday.

CVS: Register your ExtraCare card online and receive Extra Bucks via email on your birthday.

Stop, pray and listen

When I want something, I want it now.  I don't want to wait 1 day, 1 month, 1 year.  I want what I want now!!  Well, as we all know, that's not how life works.  If you want something, you have to be patient.  I remember my drama teacher in middle school, Ms. Foley, she use to always say, Patience is not one of my virtues.  At 13, I had no idea what she meant.  It was just a saying that old people said.  Now I am that "old" person and am learning that patience is a virtue, one that I am still learning to have.  I have learned that sometimes you have to learn to live without it before you can learn to be thankful once you have have it.  You may have to put some blood, sweat and tears into it before you can say its complete.  You may never get what you want, but that may be because it was not what God felt you needed.  I learned patience when I wanted a child.  I knew from a small age that all I ever wanted, and was going to be, was a mom.  This is where I learned my virtue of patience.  I had to wait.  Not because I wanted to, but because that is what God had planned for me.  Jeremiah 29:11  "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  It wasn't until I wanted that child more than anything that these words meant so much to me.  Our son came to us in Gods time, just as everything will if we just allow him to give it to us.  I never Quit giving up on my dream of being a mom, I just finally stopped, prayed and waited for God to answer.  He answers our prayers all the time, just as he had been answering mine, I was just to loud/busy with my life to listen to what he had to say. 

When I learned to stop and listen, I learned that anything is possible through Christ.  Philippians 4:13 tells us "I can do all this through him who gives me strength".  He will give you strength to get through anything that you are struggling with. I struggled with addiction to cigarettes for over 20 years.  I wanted to quit, I tried everything, but nothing ever worked.  One day, as I was driving to work, I got quiet.  I talked to God and I ask him to take this urge away because I wanted needed  to be here for my son, that I had waited so long for.  He answered, I listened.  I have never had the urge to smoke since that day.  I still get emotional when I think about it. He is so powerful!!  

I am now continue to struggle with being over weight.  I have been over weight since I was 18 years old.  I get depressed when I don't have the energy or the stamina to keep up with this adorable 3 year old.  The person I feel that I am on the inside is not the person that is displayed to the world on the outside.  It is depressing.  It is a struggle every day.  I have tried to exercise--I quit.  I have tried to diet--I quit.  I have had weight loss surgery--it didn't work.  I know the common factor to this failure is me and my approach.  So this time I am changing.  I am going to pray every day--all day, that God give me the strength to make smarter choices with my food and my exercise.  I am going to listen to him and I know that this time I will succeed.  With God, all things are possible.  I will never quit!! 

So if your struggling and you just want to quit--DONT!!  Dont every give up.  Stop, pray and listen.