Stumbled right out of the starting gate

Today was a beautiful day in the bluegrass state. Sunny, a bit cool and a light breeze. My kinda day. I feel that I am most productive on days like this. I don't like heat and the older I get I'm not too crazy about the extreme cold (which I think is coming this year). I am happier and more energetic on these 60 degree days. But today I woke up with that lingering thought of "I made a commitment to not gain any more weight". Today I  must make smart decisions.  healthier choices.  The blogging world depends on this (all 4 of my followers that is!  haha).  And today I stumbled right out of the starting gate.

Before I even let my feet hit the ground I had decided what I was having for breakfast. I was going to eat some Kashi cereal and have a cup of joe. I already knew that I was out of sweetener, so I had psyched myself into putting half the amount of sugar I would normally. I was ready. I was ready to have a great morning and eat healthy. I got up, went downstairs, and put on the coffee. Then the phone call (well the text) came in, "donuts this morning?" Ugh!! Really?  He is asking if I want donuts?  Does HE not read my blog?  Does HE not know that I already decided to eat a healthy breakfast?? I looked at it, I looked again. I was prepared to say, no, not today but what my head was thinking was not what was sent in reply. "Sure,". Ugh!! Really?? I just said sure, bring the donuts?!? So, said donuts arrive, and I eat one. But just one!! So proud that I only had one. Then I left the house for a while to run some errands. For the record, I will blog later about having a support system and how much they can truly help you to stick to your goals.

At noon, my cousins from my grandmothers side all gathered for our yearly Womens luncheon.  This year it was at Ramada hotel and the food was delish. I didn't overdo it. I had one plate, single serving scoops, and I had dessert. I did have salad (that makes up for the donut right?). It was a little (ok, maybe a lot) more calories that I should have had, but it's once a year. Right? Anyway, I got home and there, right in front of me, was the dreaded Krispy Kreme box. I ate one. I was so mad, but it was so good. But I was so mad!!   

Anyway, today was not a win for food. My mom had made a brown sugar pie and yes, I had a pice of that tonight. You see, this is why I struggle with weight. I LOVE TO EAT!!!! I love to eat everything. But today I was very aware of what I put in my mouth. I can't say that a week ago I would have eaten more, or that I would have eaten less, but today I was aware. It's one step at a I time. I didn't just blow my entire day because I had a donut this morning. I am proud that I didn't have three donuts for breakfast. I am proud that I am still moving forward.

Tomorrow we are having a Thanksgiving dinner at church and then later in the day a birthday party. These are the everyday challenges that I (we), the overweight population, faces on a regular basis. Big dinners and birthday cake. But, we can still enjoy these things; we must make smarter choices, and get healthier all at the same time. What I hope to do is write about my journey, the peaks and the valleys and in the end, I hope to not only become healthier but to help and motivate others along the way. It's not going to be easy, (I will stumble out of the starting gate). And many days it won't be fun (I will probably throw the jockey and never finish the race). But in the end it will all be worth it, because there is always another race. And I can't wait.

 

So,  tomorrow is another day.  A new race.  And like the announcer says at the start of every horse race "and they're off!!!"

Dont Ignore the Signs

Last night I attended a memorial service for a 40 year old man who was a father, a husband, a son, a brother,a friend. He died in his sleep Sunday morning in his bed. He had watched tv the night before with his wife, started having some pains shoot down his arm and went to bed. That was the last time she ever saw him alive. Adam ignored the signs Saturday night and as I understand, he had done so in the past as well. Adam had lost his job a while back, was working as a contractor and had no insurance. He probably did not want to have an added expense of medical bills added to what I am sure was a an already stressful finanaical situation. He ignored the signs hoping they would go away. Adam died.

Today, I just felt compelled to share with you the signs and symptoms of a heart attack. I have 4 followers on this blog that probably already know this information and I am sure that the others that read it probably know too. However, sometimes we have to be reminded of what we already know just to keep it fresh in our memory. I work with heart patients daily and I just think that it is a good idea to know the different symptoms to look for and to know that they can be very different for men and women.

The following information comes from the American Heart Association, go their website here: AHA

Heart Attack Signs in Women
1.Uncomfortable pressure, squeezing, fullness or pain in the center of your chest. It lasts more than a few minutes, or goes away and comes back.
2.Pain or discomfort in one or both arms, the back, neck, jaw or stomach.
3.Shortness of breath with or without chest discomfort.
4.Other signs such as breaking out in a cold sweat, nausea or lightheadedness.
5.As with men, women’s most common heart attack symptom is chest pain or discomfort. But women are somewhat more likely than men to experience some of the other common symptoms, particularly shortness of breath, nausea/vomiting and back or jaw pain.
If you have any of these signs, don’t wait more than five minutes before calling for help. Call 9-1-1 and get to a hospital right away.

Heart Attack signs in Men
Some heart attacks are sudden and intense — the "movie heart attack," where no one doubts what's happening. But most heart attacks start slowly, with mild pain or discomfort. Often people affected aren't sure what's wrong and wait too long before getting help. Here are signs that can mean a heart attack is happening:

•Chest discomfort. Most heart attacks involve discomfort in the center of the chest that lasts more than a few minutes, or that goes away and comes back. It can feel like uncomfortable pressure, squeezing, fullness or pain.
•Discomfort in other areas of the upper body. Symptoms can include pain or discomfort in one or both arms, the back, neck, jaw or stomach.
•Shortness of breath with or without chest discomfort.
•Other signs may include breaking out in a cold sweat, nausea or lightheadedness.

Theere are just a few things you can start doing today to help decrease your chances of having a heart attack. Quit smoking!! Eat a well balanced, healthy diet. Start some sort of exercise routine, even if it is just 15-20 minutes, get up and move!! Learn ways to manage your stress (meditate,hypnosis, accupuncture).

If you think that you are or have experienced any of the symptoms above, please, I beg you, go see your doctor. If you are worried about the hopsital bills, you can set up payments. Do not put off a life-threatening condition because of money. Better safe than sorry and just remember, dont ignore the signs!!

No. More. Excuses!!!

  This morning my alarm went off at 5am, as it does most mornings, and I sent a text to my work out partner asking if she wanted to go to the gym. We went back and forth with maybe, do you, I dont know...finally, she said "let’s go". So we went!! Why do I hate going yet love it when I do. Why do I try to come up with any excuse possible to not go do what I must do to start this lifestyle change. I know that I am not alone. So many of us struggle with our weight and making the decision to lose it easy, doing something about it, not so easy. I hate being fat. I hate the clothes I am forced to wear. I hate the mirrors in my house. I hate the reflection of myself in the elevators and windows where I work. OK, maybe not hate. That’s a really strong word, but I really, really really don’t like it, yet I continue to eat high fat, high calorie foods, sit on my butt and gain weight. Not anymore!! I am tired of being tired. I am tired of making excuses. I am tired of being the person that I am not supposed to be!!

Here is a brief bio on me. I never struggled with weight. I was a 145lbs all through high school. I thought I was fat, haha, but I wasn’t. I was the ideal weight for my height. In 1989 I met a guy, married him a month later, and moved away from home. (That’s a whole other blog in itself!!LOL) I moved far away, like all the way to Florida away. I knew no one, I had no family or friends nearby and I was suddenly forced to prepare my own meals. Well, we ate meals at all times of the night (he was in the military and got home late most nights), we had high fat foods and lots of soda. I had no routine and that year I put on 50lbs. In the years to come I would gain another 50lbs and increase 5 pants sizes. In 2009 I made the decision to have weight loss surgery (WLS). I went with the Lapband and I just knew that this was going to be the answer to my weight loss. Well, 4 years later, I had lost 20lbs and was miserable due to a few complications. I had the band removed in 2013 and within 2 months put on 25lbs. Today, 11/7/13, at 264lbs, I weigh more than I ever have. I own 3 pairs of pants that I rotate out weekly and I am becoming someone I don’t even recognize anymore!

Today, 11/7/13, I am making the decision to not gain another pound. I am making the decision to do what I know has to be done to do to get this weight off. I know that it will not happen overnight (oh how I wish it would)and it will not happen in a month, but over the next few weeks, next few months the next few years, I plan on making healthier decisions. Being more active. Living life to its fullest. It will not be easy. I know this. I am a realist (most days) and I will make bad choices on occasion. What will be different is it will not be a daily thing. I will not ruin an entire day because of one bad meal. I use to use that old excuse, I already ruined my diet for the day so let’s go all out!! No more. That excuse is out the window!! I am making the commitment to exercise every day. Whether that is going to the gym, walking in the neighborhood, playing outside with my son. I will be active every day of the week. if its just 30 minutes, I will do something!! I am making the commitment to eat better and make smarter choices. I am starting Weight Watchers next week and look forward to sharing this journey with others that are on the same path as me. I am making the commitment to living life. The commitment to living MY life, to its fullest, to being what and WHO God intended me to be and enjoying every minute that I have.

I ask that you pray for me and for all those that are struggling with weight. We don’t want to be fat. We don’t want to be thin. We want to be healthy. I need to be healthy, for myself, for my husband and for my child. For my friends and family that count on me and need me. I want to live life and enjoy the years I have left on this earth. I start this journey today and I hope that you will start with me. No more excuses!! I can and will do this!!

The Frog Hopper

Ever had one of those "slap you in the face" moments?  You know, when something happens and it is a huge wakeup call that makes you take a step back and analyze your life?  Well, I had that moment on July 4th, 2013.
It was a rainy 4th of July and we decided that we would take Quinn to Gattitown for some pizza and indoor "dry" entertainment.  We had free passes and 2/$5 game cards so not only would it be fun but it wouldn’t hit our budget to bad either.  We invited my sister, brother in law and niece along as well and they invited a few of their friends.  It was a good time.  Then my moment happened.  Gattitown got this new ride called the Frog Hopper.  It’s a ride for the little ones but their parents can ride too, pretty cool.  Quinn, my kid that NEVER wants to do something adventurous, wanted to ride.  The adrenaline shot through me.  I knew that I wouldn’t be able to fit on that ride. I stood there, frozen, thinking, maybe I will fit but what if I don’t; What if I get on there and they make me..us get off because my gut is too big to close the bar?? How embarrassing that would be not just for me, but for him.  The one little human I love most on this earth would be devastated if he couldn’t ride this roller coaster.   It was the first time I realized my weight was going to affect the things I could do with my son.  I was heartbroken.  Never have I wanted to run and hide and cry more than I did that very moment. My sister, thank goodness, was there and was able to ride with him.  He loved it.  He had the most amazing look on his face and was so excited.  It just filled my heart with joy, but the tears in my eyes were more than the joy he had experienced, they were the pain that I didn’t get to experience that first with him.  He never thought anything about Aunt RaRa riding with him and mommy not riding.  But I did.  What if she hadn’t been there?  What about the next time? He LOVED the ride, so there will be a next time!!  I knew at that moment that my lifestyle had to change. 
I have always wanted to lose weight, but never had the "right" motivation.  Now I did do.  But, how do I start?  Where do I start?  How do I stay motivated and get this weight off once and for all?  Well, I realized that it’s going to take accountability!!  In order to be held accountable you have to have others that depend upon you.  So, I am asking each of you to hold me accountable, each week, to get this weight off. My next blog will be my first weight loss entry.  I will start with my history of weight gain and my plan for each week.  I will post pictures as well as "THE" numbers, that’s right; I am going to put my weight out there, my weekly gains and most importantly, my losses.  Will you help me?  Will you hold me accountable and keep reminding me why I am doing this?
I enjoy life, I love to eat, I love to Drink (not just alcohol, I love coffee...sweet coffee, sweet tea, soda…the list goes on and on) and I love to play. So starting now I will blog about this weight loss; this lifestyle change.  This is not going to be easy.  But I know that with the support of those around me I can do this.  I am asking that you help keep me motivated and focused and remind me that I am doing this so that I can ride that next roller coaster with my baby boy!!      
    

A Coal Miners quilt

What a flashback it has been while unpacking a sea of Boxes and Rubbermaid totes. I have to admit that we have only just begun-but we are starting to transform our new home into ours.  My mother has a beautiful home and we are so blessed to move into an almost fully furnished home, but I definitely wanted to add our touch to it.  I am starting with the upstairs.  It was more of a clean slate than the down, so a little easier canvas to start painting.  Our..(my) biggest concern was not having any bedroom furniture for the master bedroom.  But as we started unpacking and moving things around I was pleasantly surprised to see how all the "extra" pieces started to really make a beautiful and romantic bedroom.  We have several pieces from James' parents and his childhood mixed with what already had and I love it.  We have a ways to go but seeing a vision start to come to life is so exhilarating.  My mom told me this past weekend that a home should be a reflection of your family, your memories, your life together.  I am so excited to not only make it our home but add a piece of those that we have loved and keep their memories alive. 

One piece that I am proud to finally put out is a beautiful coal miner's quilt that was sent to James' dads funeral. It has been in our closet for over 5 years and is finally going to be seen by all who visit us. I love it and I know James does too. Everyday we will pass it as we start our day and we will remember Henry Halcomb, his humor, his kind heart, his love for his family, his fight to live.  The quilt is more than a pice of material, it is a memory that will always keep our love for Henry alive. 

Do you have piece that you proudly display in your home that is a reflection of your past or someone that you loved?

My destiny is in his hands

Lately I have been  am  have been struggling with what my purpose in this life is.  What was I put on this earth to do.  Did I miss an opportunity to really do something amazing with my life? Did I go left when I should have gone right?  Did I look down when I should have looked up? I keep thinking that I should have made smarter choices with my education, my personal life, my finances and maybe, just maybe I would be the person I think I was supposed to be--But who is that?  I look around me and I see so many that "appear" to have it all together.  Now I know that you cant judge a book by its cover.  That appearances can be, and usually are, very deceiving.  And then there are those that know their destiny.  I remember when my sister was little she always said that she was going to be a teacher.  When she played pretend or dress up, she was always a teacher.  It was though she was born knowing her destiny.  She went to college, became a teacher and she has and continues to make such a difference in the youth of today. Teaching them, loving them, helping them find their way in this great big world.

I remember as a kid that I wanted to be everything.  I am pretty sure my future career choices changed with the seasons. I was going to be a police officer, a beautician, a nurse, a chemical engineer, I was going to enlist in the Navy (which I actually did but that's a different blog), I was going to be a professional photographer, I was going to win a CMA...there were just so many options and I guess I thought I would be a Jane of all trades.  LOL  But in all my dream career choices, there was always one constant.  I wanted to be married and more than anything I wanted to be a mom.  I just knew that I would have 2 boys and 1 girl and I even had their names picked out.  Hence my Cabbage Patch kids that are all named for my future children. haha  This was my destiny, to be a mom, to 3 or maybe 4 children.  I knew this, at least I thought I did!
But REALITY set in....

I got a job with the phone company when I was 22.  I was blessed to eventually work myself up into a position that I really loved but 16 years later that job would end, actually causing me to take a step back and see what was really important to me and where I wanted to go in my life. I met an amazing, caring, loving man in 2004ish and we started our life together in 2006 as husband and wife. Then there was the infertility thing.  I will blog more about that later, but in Gods time we were blessed with the most precious son ever (yes, I am a little biased, but just ask anyone, they will agree). So my childhood dreams were slowly coming to life.  I was married, I was a mom.  but now what?  I was am happy, but I can honestly say that there was still something missing.  I felt like I still needed a career, a purpose, but what was that?

Then I realized that I needed to look up.  I need to look up to God to show me what his purpose for me was. I needed to search within myself, listen to what God was telling me, go to where God was directing me.  Proverbs 19:21 says that "Many plans are in a man's mind, but it is the Lord's purpose for him that will stand."  I was drowning in my own plans and it was because it was all what I wanted to do, not what God wanted me to do.  I am learning to be patient and to listen to him.  He has made my dreams of becoming a wife and mom come true.  He sent me James and Quinn, in his time, when he knew that I was ready for that.  I repeat, When HE knew that I was READY.  So it is time for me to stop worrying so much about what I thought I was supposed to be but who God wants me to be. I am feeding more on the word, I am praying more, I am being more quiet.  I am so far from where I feel he is leading me and yet I feel so close.  Knowing that my destiny is in his hands, trusting him to lead me in the right direction, makes me sleep a little better at night and enjoy the days so much more.

So going forward I am going to stop worrying about what I think my purpose in life is.  Because I know that it is to be a Christian wife, mother, daughter, sister.  A disciple of Christ.  I have so much to learn, but I am so excited to start this next chapter in my life.  I know that he will never fail me and with that faith, even as small as a mustard seed, I will prosper.  I will be happy.  I no longer fear the unknown because he knows what my future holds and that's all that matters.

Have you always known your destiny?  Are you living out your dreams?  Are you still searching? 

 To everything there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven. Ecclesiastes 3: 1

   

Life just goes way to fast....

It’s been a while since I last blogged.  I always feel like I have to have that perfect subject in order to write and even though only a handful of people read my blog, I still don’t write.  Well, I am going to change that.  I am going to start writing about whatever is on my mind, the events of the day or what I am (or am not) feeling. I will write about my dreams, my realities, my hopes and ambitions, my let downs and anything and everything in between.  I will probably write a lot about my husband and son because they are the 2 most important things on this earth to me, so consider yourself forewarned!! 

It’s been a crazy few months in the Halcomb household; we sold our house in February and moved in with my mom and step dad.  They are technically there on the weekends only, but lately, with unexpected life events, they have needed to be in Lexington a little more.  Needless to say, our home is filled with laughter, tears, yelling, talking, cooking, cleaning, and so much more.  With 4 headstrong adults and a 3 year old, life is never boring.  Our most recent adventure has been potty training Quinn.  I have to admit, he has been a champ.  It all started one day when his diaper was wet and it leaked out on my furniture.  I didn’t get mad at him but I was done!!  I threatened to put plastic/rubber training pants on him over his “big boy” underwear, he cried.  He pleaded to not put on the plastic pants and promised he wouldn’t have an accident in his big boy pants.  Well, he never has from that day, not even at night.  I am so proud of him.  I have never wanted to wish any phase of Quinn’s life away, I have treasured every little thing, but I really, really, really wanted to get rid of diapers.  I realize now just how quick they grow up, and I can honestly say that now that diapers are gone, I miss them…ok, not really!!    I miss my baby that wore them, but I really don’t miss the diapers!!  LOL 



My beautiful (Great)Grandmother, Katherine Baber

I will close with this, last Thursday we lost a true matriarch to our family.  My Great Grandmother, Katherine Baber, passed away suddenly Thursday morning, June 20, 2013 at the age of 97.  While many will say that she lived a long life and we were lucky to have her for so many years, I will say that no matter how old one may be when they leave this life, they take a piece of you with them.  She was a rock, she was strong, she was beautiful and she loved God.  Her house was always perfect and she would have never left her home without her hair done and her make up on.  She could climb a peach tree in a dress and tennis shoes and come down looking like she just stepped out of a beauty shop.  She cooked, she cleaned, she canned, she sewed and most importantly she read her bible daily.  She was proud; proud of her husband (whom we lost too early as well in the 90’s), her daughters, her grandchildren, great grandchildren and great-great grandchildren. She had a lot of pain in her 97 years.  She lost all her siblings (she was 1 of 11 I believe), she lost her parents, her husband, 2 of her children and too many family and friends to count.  Yet, she never lost her composure, she never felt sorry for herself.  She focused on all the happy days that she had in her long life.  She never gave up on anyone.  She loved unconditionally.  She inspired all that met her. My Granny told a story at the funeral home Sunday evening, that grandmother (that’s what we all called her), wanted a closed casket because she had so many wrinkles.  Her daughters were not fond of that idea and she agreed to have the casket open.  She looked beautiful.  She was still as beautiful in her final sleep as she was so many years ago.  I am so blessed to have had this amazing woman in my life.  She passed on so much wisdom and grace to my Granny who passed it to my mom who I hope has passed enough on to me and my sister that we can carry on this beautiful woman’s legacy.  I will strive to be more like her every day and will remember her always.   

 1 Timothy 5:10 - Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints' feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work.