The Frog Hopper

Ever had one of those "slap you in the face" moments?  You know, when something happens and it is a huge wakeup call that makes you take a step back and analyze your life?  Well, I had that moment on July 4th, 2013.
It was a rainy 4th of July and we decided that we would take Quinn to Gattitown for some pizza and indoor "dry" entertainment.  We had free passes and 2/$5 game cards so not only would it be fun but it wouldn’t hit our budget to bad either.  We invited my sister, brother in law and niece along as well and they invited a few of their friends.  It was a good time.  Then my moment happened.  Gattitown got this new ride called the Frog Hopper.  It’s a ride for the little ones but their parents can ride too, pretty cool.  Quinn, my kid that NEVER wants to do something adventurous, wanted to ride.  The adrenaline shot through me.  I knew that I wouldn’t be able to fit on that ride. I stood there, frozen, thinking, maybe I will fit but what if I don’t; What if I get on there and they make me..us get off because my gut is too big to close the bar?? How embarrassing that would be not just for me, but for him.  The one little human I love most on this earth would be devastated if he couldn’t ride this roller coaster.   It was the first time I realized my weight was going to affect the things I could do with my son.  I was heartbroken.  Never have I wanted to run and hide and cry more than I did that very moment. My sister, thank goodness, was there and was able to ride with him.  He loved it.  He had the most amazing look on his face and was so excited.  It just filled my heart with joy, but the tears in my eyes were more than the joy he had experienced, they were the pain that I didn’t get to experience that first with him.  He never thought anything about Aunt RaRa riding with him and mommy not riding.  But I did.  What if she hadn’t been there?  What about the next time? He LOVED the ride, so there will be a next time!!  I knew at that moment that my lifestyle had to change. 
I have always wanted to lose weight, but never had the "right" motivation.  Now I did do.  But, how do I start?  Where do I start?  How do I stay motivated and get this weight off once and for all?  Well, I realized that it’s going to take accountability!!  In order to be held accountable you have to have others that depend upon you.  So, I am asking each of you to hold me accountable, each week, to get this weight off. My next blog will be my first weight loss entry.  I will start with my history of weight gain and my plan for each week.  I will post pictures as well as "THE" numbers, that’s right; I am going to put my weight out there, my weekly gains and most importantly, my losses.  Will you help me?  Will you hold me accountable and keep reminding me why I am doing this?
I enjoy life, I love to eat, I love to Drink (not just alcohol, I love coffee...sweet coffee, sweet tea, soda…the list goes on and on) and I love to play. So starting now I will blog about this weight loss; this lifestyle change.  This is not going to be easy.  But I know that with the support of those around me I can do this.  I am asking that you help keep me motivated and focused and remind me that I am doing this so that I can ride that next roller coaster with my baby boy!!      
    

A Coal Miners quilt

What a flashback it has been while unpacking a sea of Boxes and Rubbermaid totes. I have to admit that we have only just begun-but we are starting to transform our new home into ours.  My mother has a beautiful home and we are so blessed to move into an almost fully furnished home, but I definitely wanted to add our touch to it.  I am starting with the upstairs.  It was more of a clean slate than the down, so a little easier canvas to start painting.  Our..(my) biggest concern was not having any bedroom furniture for the master bedroom.  But as we started unpacking and moving things around I was pleasantly surprised to see how all the "extra" pieces started to really make a beautiful and romantic bedroom.  We have several pieces from James' parents and his childhood mixed with what already had and I love it.  We have a ways to go but seeing a vision start to come to life is so exhilarating.  My mom told me this past weekend that a home should be a reflection of your family, your memories, your life together.  I am so excited to not only make it our home but add a piece of those that we have loved and keep their memories alive. 

One piece that I am proud to finally put out is a beautiful coal miner's quilt that was sent to James' dads funeral. It has been in our closet for over 5 years and is finally going to be seen by all who visit us. I love it and I know James does too. Everyday we will pass it as we start our day and we will remember Henry Halcomb, his humor, his kind heart, his love for his family, his fight to live.  The quilt is more than a pice of material, it is a memory that will always keep our love for Henry alive. 

Do you have piece that you proudly display in your home that is a reflection of your past or someone that you loved?

My destiny is in his hands

Lately I have been  am  have been struggling with what my purpose in this life is.  What was I put on this earth to do.  Did I miss an opportunity to really do something amazing with my life? Did I go left when I should have gone right?  Did I look down when I should have looked up? I keep thinking that I should have made smarter choices with my education, my personal life, my finances and maybe, just maybe I would be the person I think I was supposed to be--But who is that?  I look around me and I see so many that "appear" to have it all together.  Now I know that you cant judge a book by its cover.  That appearances can be, and usually are, very deceiving.  And then there are those that know their destiny.  I remember when my sister was little she always said that she was going to be a teacher.  When she played pretend or dress up, she was always a teacher.  It was though she was born knowing her destiny.  She went to college, became a teacher and she has and continues to make such a difference in the youth of today. Teaching them, loving them, helping them find their way in this great big world.

I remember as a kid that I wanted to be everything.  I am pretty sure my future career choices changed with the seasons. I was going to be a police officer, a beautician, a nurse, a chemical engineer, I was going to enlist in the Navy (which I actually did but that's a different blog), I was going to be a professional photographer, I was going to win a CMA...there were just so many options and I guess I thought I would be a Jane of all trades.  LOL  But in all my dream career choices, there was always one constant.  I wanted to be married and more than anything I wanted to be a mom.  I just knew that I would have 2 boys and 1 girl and I even had their names picked out.  Hence my Cabbage Patch kids that are all named for my future children. haha  This was my destiny, to be a mom, to 3 or maybe 4 children.  I knew this, at least I thought I did!
But REALITY set in....

I got a job with the phone company when I was 22.  I was blessed to eventually work myself up into a position that I really loved but 16 years later that job would end, actually causing me to take a step back and see what was really important to me and where I wanted to go in my life. I met an amazing, caring, loving man in 2004ish and we started our life together in 2006 as husband and wife. Then there was the infertility thing.  I will blog more about that later, but in Gods time we were blessed with the most precious son ever (yes, I am a little biased, but just ask anyone, they will agree). So my childhood dreams were slowly coming to life.  I was married, I was a mom.  but now what?  I was am happy, but I can honestly say that there was still something missing.  I felt like I still needed a career, a purpose, but what was that?

Then I realized that I needed to look up.  I need to look up to God to show me what his purpose for me was. I needed to search within myself, listen to what God was telling me, go to where God was directing me.  Proverbs 19:21 says that "Many plans are in a man's mind, but it is the Lord's purpose for him that will stand."  I was drowning in my own plans and it was because it was all what I wanted to do, not what God wanted me to do.  I am learning to be patient and to listen to him.  He has made my dreams of becoming a wife and mom come true.  He sent me James and Quinn, in his time, when he knew that I was ready for that.  I repeat, When HE knew that I was READY.  So it is time for me to stop worrying so much about what I thought I was supposed to be but who God wants me to be. I am feeding more on the word, I am praying more, I am being more quiet.  I am so far from where I feel he is leading me and yet I feel so close.  Knowing that my destiny is in his hands, trusting him to lead me in the right direction, makes me sleep a little better at night and enjoy the days so much more.

So going forward I am going to stop worrying about what I think my purpose in life is.  Because I know that it is to be a Christian wife, mother, daughter, sister.  A disciple of Christ.  I have so much to learn, but I am so excited to start this next chapter in my life.  I know that he will never fail me and with that faith, even as small as a mustard seed, I will prosper.  I will be happy.  I no longer fear the unknown because he knows what my future holds and that's all that matters.

Have you always known your destiny?  Are you living out your dreams?  Are you still searching? 

 To everything there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven. Ecclesiastes 3: 1